Coming Soon to a Theater Nowhere Near You

So, a little while ago myself and a coworker decided we would make another Jaws sequel. Because, you know, it's been a while. And we wanted to do it before Rob Zombie got around to it. Since we have no budget for such an undertaking, we decided to feature only dead actors in the film. Splice together pieces from old films to create our new masterpiece. And, to appeal to the kids, we figured the shark could talk. With Roy Scheider's voice, of course.

We imagined the opening scene: Just as dawn hits the all but frozen sea of Antarctica (or somewhere really cold) a ship smashes into a giant iceberg, unknowingly awakening a mammoth prehistoric shark with a savage hunger for revenge on humanity. Or something like that. That's about as far as we've gotten, but I did design a poster for the film to whet the public appetite:



In other somewhat related news, have you heard about the new Three Stooges movie in the works? It's not a biopic, but a modernized re imagining of the classic characters. Starring (and I kid you not) Jim Carrey, Benicio Del Toro, and um, Sean Penn as Larry. I'm not lying. I swear.

Good Night.